The cost of not saying thank you

The following is based on one of The Covenant Group’s clients. All of the names and telling details have been changed.

When I first met Art Gold, his plan to grow his business by working through collateral professionals had been backfiring and he wanted help.

Art was a veteran advisor of twenty years who specialized in working with professionals and well-off business owners. A year before coming to see me, Art had made a conscious decision to take his business to the next level. One of his key strategies was to work with collateral professionals, such as lawyers and accountants, and develop them as key centers of influence. At first his strategy appeared to be working, but a couple of his key relationships had soured. Increasingly, he found working with accountants and lawyers too frustrating and began wondering whether he should be looking to develop other types of centers of influence. He was particularly annoyed with one of the accountants he’d worked through.

Art explained that Sam, an accountant he’d known well, was one of the first collateral professionals he’d approached. Sam was part of a small study group made up of other professionals and business owners who met once a month to exchange ideas. The group frequently brought in guest speakers and Art had proposed to do a presentation on investment tax planning. Sam liked the idea and arranged to include Art on the agenda for their next meeting.

The day after the presentation, Joan, one of the members, called Art eager to talk further about Art’s services. She eventually became one of Art’s largest clients.

Art was in the middle of following up with others in the group when he decided to call Sam to ask for other referrals.

Unfortunately, the call didn’t go well. Sam was cool and said he didn’t know of anyone else. Art was taken aback; he knew Sam had an extensive network of wealthy business owners. Art explained that he’d done work with Joan and was already down the road with two other group members. Sam said he’d heard and explained that hearing from Joan first had bothered him.

Art dismissed the concern. If Sam was upset because Art was helping people in Sam’s group, that was Sam’s problem.

I asked Art if he appreciated Sam’s help in getting him in front of the group. Art said of course but didn’t like how Sam wanted him to feel in his debt.

“Art,” I said, “a couple of months ago, a family friend called me. He and his wife were renters but had seen a house they wanted to make a bid on. They were anxious and had no idea what to do. I told them not to worry and put them together with Barb, a close friend of mine and one of the city’s top real estate agents. I knew many people who’d bought and sold houses through Barb who couldn’t say enough about her. Two days later, the young couple called me back. They were ecstatic: they’d just bought their first home. They thanked me profusely and said I was right — Barb was the best. I was thrilled for them and glad to have helped.

Art wondered what the story had to do with him.

“Art,” I said, “I never got a call from Barb.”

Art questioned my motive for giving Barb the referral. If my friends were happy, wasn’t that enough for me?

I told Art his question was a good one. I wondered myself why a simple thank you meant so much to me. I think part of it comes down to a basic human need to be acknowledged. But I think there’s more at stake. When I gave Barb the referral, I created a three-party relationship in which I had an emotional stake. I wanted to do something good for my friends and for Barb, and I wanted the assurance that everyone was happy. Not hearing from Barb made me question the value of our relationship, not so much for my friends, but for me and for Barb.

The effect of Barb’s not calling also caused me to question who I thought Barb was, and how she conducts her business. If she’s not bothering to call me with a simple thank-you, what else in her business is she neglecting? And considerably far worse for her is the fact that I don’t feel positive about referring others to her.

“Art,” I said, “I often talk about how advisors should focus on creating client capital. When I gave Barb the referral, I put her in a position to create an immense amount of client capital. To show you what I mean, let’s say she had called me. What would that have meant? I can tell you that her call would have made me feel great. Her telling me how happy she was and how she’d helped my friends would have reassured me of my stake in the relationship and would certainly have inspired me to think of others I could refer to her.

“In other words, Barb, with a single phone call, would have been able to secure every future referral from me, and there’s no telling how much business that would mean to her. The truth is, all it would have taken was a phone call; but let’s say Barb had taken me and my friends out to lunch. We all would have been impressed and afterwards would have kept our eyes open for others we could refer her to. Talk about yield on your investment — a simple phone call or lunch date to create advocates for your business who are going to go into the marketplace and advertise your services. How much would you have to spend on marketing and advertising to get that kind of effect? In fact, I’m not sure there’s a number. Nothing is more powerful than word of mouth. And losing that word of mouth because you didn’t acknowledge someone — what a shame.”
Art nodded in agreement, and then expressed his regret that he’d blown it with Sam.

But I told Art I don’t really believe it was too late. If Barb phoned me up right now and said she’d been meaning to thank me all along, but had just been too busy and stressed with other things in her life, she’d erase all the tension in our relationship. This is truly a case of better late than never.

I explained to Art one more thing about a three-party relationship — “It’s your responsibility as the person receiving the referral to build the relationship between the person who gave you the referral and the person they referred you to. You need to make certain that the referral appreciates where the referral originated and to create and build the prestige of the referrer in the referral’s eyes. When you do this, your center of influence will see you as a class act and will be more than glad to continue referring you to people in their network.”

Art left the meeting determined to repair the relationship with Sam, and to make acknowledgement part of his service routine.

A few months later, Art was over the moon. He’d invited Sam to a hockey game to express his gratitude for getting him in front of his group. But more than that, Art demonstrated his commitment to Sam by continuing to keep Sam informed of the progress he was making with the people in Sam’s group. Sam has since become an ardent promoter of Art’s services and has opened up numerous other opportunities for Art. Art can now point to five large cases he’s closed as a direct result of Sam’s influence.

Lessons Learned

Art learned that not acknowledging a center of influence could be a costly mistake. Advisors, because they are often heavily focused on the daily demands of their business, tend to neglect acknowledging others. As well, advisors don’t usually appreciate the referrer’s emotional stake in the relationship, their need to know that their friend appreciates the referral, and their need to be assured that the advisor is strengthening the bond between themselves and their friend. By not acknowledging the referrer, advisors lose out on the opportunity to build invaluable client capital. Acknowledging someone who contributed to a business opportunity for you is one of the most effective client capital strategies. Usually a simple phone call, no more than a few minutes, or a card, can help secure a relationship with a center of influence who will become a champion for your business in the marketplace. Compared to the dollars you’d have to spend to get that kind of marketing support, it’s a shame advisors ever neglect to acknowledge people who’ve helped them. And although it’s better late than never, you should make a point of thanking people as quickly as possible. Doing so will ease any tension the referrer might have about the relationship. And don’t wait until business closes — you are thanking the referrer for the opportunity they gave you, not closed business.

________________________________

The Covenant Group is referred to by many as the place entrepreneurs go to become Business Builders. They are considered to be thought leaders and have authored the best-selling books, The 8 Best Practices of High- Performing Salespeople, The Entrepreneurial Journey, and The Business Builder.