The wounded healer inspires confidence
The following is based on one of The Covenant Group’s clients. All of the names and telling details have been changed.
George Orchuk came to us a few months ago. He had recently implemented a number of marketing initiatives that had failed and was desperate for help.
George, an advisor for seven years, had built a decent clientele that kept him busy and generated a fairly predictable flow of new business. He generated close to $150,000 annually but worried that was his ceiling. Last year, he invested in his own development, signed up for a series of courses, read books, and picked the brains of seasoned advisors.
One of the advisors he’d talked to was Paul, an associate in his firm and a client of ours. Paul attributed the recent upsurge in his business to a series of concept lunches. Paul hosted an exclusive lunch monthly for six to eight of his clients and their guests. George decided to do the same thing, but three lunches later, he found himself without any significant leads, and considerably poorer. That’s when he gave us a ring.
When George and I met, he outlined the process he followed for his lunches. Each month he selected a group of 20 clients, sent them invitations, then followed up with phone calls. Ten or so would confirm, and seven or eight would show, each bringing their admission fee, a single guest. George held the lunch in his firm’s boardroom and catered it with gourmet sandwiches. George would briefly introduce himself, then, in round-the-table order, all the guests would state their name. George then made a half-hour presentation, something educational, rather than promotional. After the presentation, during dessert, George talked with each guest and exchanged cards. In the weeks following the lunch, George called his guests. But so far, no business. Many explained they were already working with someone or politely asked him to give them a ring at a later date. George was bewildered.
George had done a great job of mimicking Paul, but like a parrot copying human language, he’d got the words right but missed the meaning. “There’s something Paul is doing in his concept lunches that you’re not. Before we get into that, let me ask you why you got into this business?”
“I fell into it,” George answered.
“But why fall into financial services? How come you didn’t fall into engineering, carpentry, bartending, or accounting?”
“At school I studied commerce. When I graduated, there were lots of opportunities in marketing. I hopped around marketing departments for a few years but grew bored. An advisor friend of mine suggested I join his firm. I made the career change and never looked back.”
“George, I want to know why you became a financial advisor, not how?”
I spent the next half hour probing George for the answer to why? He kept returning to a surface explanation, so I asked him how he feels about what he does? About solving financial problems for people? When I asked these questions, George became animated. He talked about the thrill he got helping put somebody on the right track. Many of his clients started off with messy situations, scattered investments, mounting debt, little insurance. He enjoyed sorting them out, figuring out their goals and putting together a sound plan for them.
I was getting closer to the answer I was looking for, but I wasn’t quite there. I then asked George why he enjoyed helping people so much. This question really opened him up. We spent the next few minutes talking about his background, his family, and his childhood. His father had been a wildcat entrepreneur, who’d thrown himself into a series of businesses -- some worked out, some didn’t. As a result, George’s childhood was a roller coaster; one year the family would spend Christmas in Florida, the next year, they’d barely scrape by. The constant stress wore on the family. His parents argued a lot. To make things worse, his father died while George was still a teenager, leaving the family in a financial shambles. In his own life, George fought against the urge to take unnecessary risks and tried hard to avoid a life of big highs and deep lows.
Our conversation was cathartic for George.
“George,” I said, “what you just told me is what was missing from your concept lunches.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve worked closely with hundreds of advisors over the years, and I’ve found that the people who come into this business and stay have a real passion for it. A financial services career demands not just hard work and a large investment in time, but also a big emotional commitment. When people constantly say no to you, your passion and commitment to the occasional yes keeps you going. The people who have the passion for this business are often people who, like you, have had their own deeply personal struggles with money.
“In Greek mythology, we get the story of the wounded healer, in which the healer, to heal himself, must heal others. This powerful concept has a lot of relevance to being an advisor. When you help your clients, you’re also helping yourself. Sorting out their financial challenges is a way for you to reinforce the right behaviours in your own life.
“For your associate Paul, the concept lunch is an opportunity to deepen relationships with his clients and their guests. He begins his lunch by telling the story of why he came into the business. He’s a wounded healer, and the story he tells is a personal account of growing up in a broken home and how this affected his life, specifically his ability to handle finances properly. He had spent years conquering a habit of wild spending and crazy investing. After telling this story at his first lunch, Paul invited his guests to introduce themselves. The next person who spoke, instead of simply stating their name and job title, told their own story about raising a special needs child and the impact this had on their financial and personal lives. Other guests followed with their own stories. Paul had changed the tone of the event from a stiff, formal gathering to an open atmosphere where people could connect and share human experiences.”
George didn’t seem convinced and asked if an approach like Paul’s would scare some people off. After all, Paul’s revealing his flaws.
I said, “Imagine an overweight person going to a weight-loss centre where the counselor is someone who’s been thin all her life. How much confidence would the patient have that her guide understands what it’s like to crave food, to need food to feel better. Now, consider a counselor who’d suffered through the same problems and overcome them. It’s much easier for this second counselor to develop an empathetic relationship and to inspire her patient.
“If a prospect comes to you and they’ve got a second mortgage, maxed out credit cards, a neglected retirement savings plan, they’d be concerned about you judging them and your ability to help them out. By telling your story, you let them know that you’ve been in their shoes and are successfully solving your problems. You’re more likely to get all the information you need. Without the whole picture, you can’t help them.”
George was excited about this new approach. He had another lunch scheduled in two weeks and he planned to apply the more intimate approach we discussed.
When I followed up with George, he was ecstatic. A number of his clients had come up to him afterwards and thanked him; they’d expected a run-of-the-mill financial seminar and instead met and got to know a group of interesting people. George had connected with his clients at a deeper level and had initiated a number of relationships with their guests. In fact, he was in the process of putting together a substantial financial plan for one of those guests.
Lessons Learned
The concept lunch is a powerful marketing tool, but not when you simply go through the motions. It’s not enough to get people in a room and showcase your services. Today, your success depends on your ability to create and sustain relationships. The concept lunch is your forum to connect with your clients and prospects on a deep level. Your competitive advantage is not product superiority or operational excellence; it’s client intimacy. One effective way to get intimate with your clients is to tell your story, to explain why you are in the business you’re in. Showing them your passion is a way of building confidence. They know you’re serious and that you’re in it for the long haul. Paradoxically, admitting faults and imperfections actually increases their trust and confidence in you. They see you as someone they can open up to, as someone who will understand their situation, their problems, their fears, and as someone who can help them change and grow.
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The Covenant Group is referred to by many as the place entrepreneurs go to become Business Builders. They are considered to be thought leaders and have authored the best-selling books, The 8 Best Practices of High- Performing Salespeople, The Entrepreneurial Journey, and The Business Builder.