Trying to do it all can leave you with less

The following is based on one of The Covenant Group’s clients. All of the names and telling details have been changed.

Six months ago Sharon Conner sought our help. She was running full tilt in her business and personal life, and closing in on a meltdown.
She had been an advisor for five years and now had 410 clients. She exhausted herself, trying to give impeccable service to her vast clientele. Worked late a lot trying to climb out of her mounting paperwork. And the work didn’t stop when she came home. She was married with three children. Her husband also worked long shifts and much of the housework fell to Sharon. Her kids played sports, took piano lessons. She spent much of her time chauffeuring them around. The demands on her were piling up. She worried about her ability to cope.

Obviously, Sharon had a serious problem and little idea of how to solve it. Before jumping to her remedy, I asked her what being successful meant.
She reflected for a moment. “I have this picture of a life where my business is thriving. Where we go on family vacations. And occasionally, my husband and I sneak away for a romantic week in Europe. But this is obviously such a fantasy because my life right now is nothing like that.”

“What’s your plan for creating the life you want?”

“I keep thinking something is going to break.”

“Unfortunately, I don’t see that happening. Your kids are still young. They won’t be moving out for another ten years. I don’t think the phone’s going to stop ringing at the office. You give great service to your clients and they’ll continue to refer you to others. The work will pile up.

“I know you don’t feel like it, but you’re in an enviable position. Your business is growing, but right now, you’ve hit a wall. Your operation can only do so much. It’s like trying to ride a horse on the highway. A horse is a great means of transportation in the right setting -- for wandering through trails, up and down rolling hills. But on the highway, you need a car that can go 120 kph. That’s the position you’re in. For you, the landscape has changed. Your business is on the highway, not a slow, meandering trail. This is a growth opportunity. But to grow, you need to change.”

Sharon asked what she should be doing. Her question revealed a trap many fall into.

“It’s not a question of what you should be doing, it’s a question of what you shouldn’t be doing.

“Success is largely about what you choose not to do. In fact, what you say ‘No’ to defines you. Ask yourself, what in your business and in your personal life are you going to choose not to do.”

Sharon thought for a moment. “I can’t see myself giving anything up. I want to be there for my clients when they call. I need to be there. And my family, too. My kids are important. I can’t not go to their soccer games.”

“We’re part of a generation, the postwar boomers, that believes we can have it all. That we should have it all. That we can be super-mom or super-dad, super-husband or wife, and be everything to our clients. The paradox is this concept of having it all actually leaves people with less. We have to understand that success is not about getting everything done. Success is unfinished business. We already know that you simply can’t keep doing what you’re doing. You have limited resources, and you have to be extremely judicious about how you spend that resource. So you need to look closely at your business and figure out what you’re not going to do. What service activities are you going to give up? Which clients are you not going to see every six months for reviews?”

Sharon needed to hire an administrative assistant. Eventually, she would need junior advisors to work with segments of her client base.
Sharon resisted. She didn’t feel comfortable about leaving her clients in the hands of someone else. My clients want me, she said. She’d promised herself and her clients that she would always be there for them, and that’s why they stayed with her.

I explained that the concept of clients depending on you is a limiting one. Clinging to this fallacy puts a ceiling on your business. You certainly want your clients to depend on your organization, but that doesn’t mean they have to depend on you personally. You need to find and develop qualified people that can do for your clients what you’ve always done. Finding the right people is a challenge, but it’s worth it. And extremely liberating. I am speaking from personal experience. One of the big steps for me was to delegate the running of our programs to others. Many people at our office worried this wouldn’t work, that our clients would insist on Norm Trainor. We’ve dispelled those concerns. Today we have a roster of people to deliver programs and our clients bond with them as strongly as they ever did with me.

Making such a transition requires planning. In our business, we found creative ways for me to be there for our clients that don’t depend on my presence. Our clients now have access to me through our books, and online modules. 

When you grow, you’ll need to educate your clients on what they can expect from you. State upfront how your operation works, that if they need to make a change of address they contact your assistant; if they just got married, or got a promotion, they call you.

Sharon was also concerned about the cost of hiring.

“I understand how you feel,” I said, “But it’s like starting a family. Most people are apprehensive; they don’t have as much money as they’d like, they’re not secure in their careers. Yet later, they’re glad they began a family when they were young. When it comes to your business, ask yourself if you believe in it? If you do, you will see the expense of hiring someone as an investment, not a cost.”

I advised Sharon to consider hiring not just for her business, but also for her personal life. She needed a housekeeper. At first, she felt that giving up the housework meant not being there for her kids and her husband. I referred Sharon back to her vision of a successful life. Doing housework wasn’t part of it, and it wasn’t going to help her create the life she wanted. In fact, doing housework took her away from her kids and exhausted her.

Sharon spent a couple of weeks developing a plan to grow her business over the next three years that included the immediate hire of support staff for the office, and later the hiring of junior advisors. Sharon would concentrate on spending her time face-to-face with her most valuable clients. She also planned to hire a housekeeper.

Sharon’s plan worked. Within a few months, she was enjoying life again. She’d hired Jason, a reliable assistant whom her clients loved, freeing Sharon up to concentrate on her top clients. The headache of dealing with paperwork, service issues and suppliers became Jason’s problem. By concentrating on her top clients she increased her monthly income. She rarely worked late and spent more time at home, where, rather than sweeping and vacuuming, she relaxed and played with her kids. And she made it to all their soccer games. She was also in the habit of hiring a babysitter so she and her husband could get away.

Lessons Learned

Sharon learned that the anguish of a harried life is often the result of something positive -- a growth opportunity. But capitalizing on the growth opportunity means saying no to things you’re used to saying yes to. And it never stops. If you want to grow, you must be prepared to delegate tasks to others and to focus on the activities that really mean something to you. We have a tendency to hang on to things way too long, fearing that giving them up means losing something of ourselves. But you need to examine how you’re spending your time. For Sharon, her family and her business were priorities, but many of the activities she insisted on doing detracted from her ability to concentrate on the things that really mattered. She realized she wasn’t spending as much time as she should have with her top clients, and she wasn’t spending the quality time with her family that she could have. By saying no to the administrative work and the housework, she redefined herself; in fact, her life finally began to approach the life she had always sought.

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The Covenant Group is referred to by many as the place entrepreneurs go to become Business Builders. They are considered to be thought leaders and have authored the best-selling books, The 8 Best Practices of High- Performing Salespeople, The Entrepreneurial Journey, and The Business Builder.